Resolutions vs. Intentions

For most of my life, I would start each New Year off with resolutions, just like so many of you do. I didn’t know there was a better way, so come each December, you could find me making my list of all the things I was going to change, and boy was I excited!

I’d resolve to lose weight (every year!), grow my business, take better care of myself, and whatever myriad of things I felt needed “fixing.” And let me tell you, my list was long!

Within a few weeks (if I’m being honest) I would already be off-track and “failing.” All the excitement I started off the New Year with would quickly turn into disappointment in myself, and I lost the drive to keep going.

Was the strategy and mindset I was using to implement change effective? No. And here’s why:

Resolutions are usually based on what we think is “wrong” with us, and things we believe we “should” change, so we come up with an action plan we think will “fix” the problem. Our success is tied to the end result, and if we don’t get to the end, we’ve “failed.” Therefore it’s very easy to give up early and throw our resolutions out the window, feeling disappointed in ourselves.

Example: Lose weight (10lbs) within 4 weeks. I’ll hit the gym 5x a week for at least an hour each time. I’ll give up sugar and won’t eat after 7 pm.”

In my case, I would put a lot of pressure on myself to make those (necessary) changes, and then when I would fall off and eat too much (have a sugary snack at 8 pm), work out too little (only hit the gym 3x) I would feel massive guilt and shame, therefore I was a “failure.”

The idea of a resolution is usually all or nothing. When we “fail” we tend to beat ourselves up…and then we give up.

The idea of an intention is much softer. It’s a mindful action with an effort to change. When we “fail” we can view it as a setback (not a dead end), with less judgment and criticism of ourselves. Intentions aren’t tying us to an outcome, so it’s easier to get back up and try again/start over when we fall off course.

If my intention was to become healthier each day, continue to implement positive dietary and lifestyle changes, and uplevel/challenge myself on a regular basis, that would take the pressure off me having to do things perfectly, and not let hitting (or not hitting) the goal (resolution) measure my success. That’s not to say you can’t create a step-by-step action plan within your intention, but let the intention lead you, rather than the resolution shame you.

So this year I encourage you to think about what you want to create rather than what you need to fix. If you fall off course, remind yourself that every moment is a brand new moment to begin again. Take that first step again (and again if you have to). It’s ok. You’ve got this. No matter how many first steps you need to take, take them, and keep going. Your self-worth isn’t tied to any outcome, it’s something inherent within you.

It’s not about what you need to fix, it’s about what you want to create!

I wish you love, laughter, connection, and joy in all things.

XO ~ Tara